The Tip Before the Sip

by Matthew R. Paden

There was a time when tipping was something you did after someone provided a service. You ate the meal. You got your haircut. Your waiter refilled your drink. Then, presumably, you decided whether the experience deserved an additional financial tribute.

But apparently, we have evolved.

At Starbucks, you can now be asked to tip before your coffee has even been made.

Nothing says “grateful customer” quite like being handed an iPad and asked to financially reward someone for a beverage that currently exists only as a concept.

It’s the coffee equivalent of tipping a contractor before they’ve even shown up.

“Would you like to leave 20%, 25%, or 30%?”

“For what?”

“Well, we’re going to make your coffee.”

“I see. And if you don’t?”

“Then you’ve already tipped.”

Excellent. We’ve reached a point where the tip is no longer a thank-you for good service.

It’s a preemptive payment for the possibility of competence.

And let’s talk about the price of the coffee.

At Starbucks, you’re already paying enough for a latte to make you briefly consider whether you should have just purchased an espresso machine and learned Italian.

The drink arrives in a paper cup with your name misspelled, yet somehow the checkout screen still has the audacity to ask whether you’d like to add another $2.50 to the experience.

For what?

The privilege of waiting six minutes for a beverage I ordered from the comfort of my automobile?

Perhaps next time the drive-thru speaker should ask:

“Would you like to tip your barista?”

“No.”

“Would you like to tip before we make your coffee?”

“No.”

“Would you like to tip the person who hands you the coffee?”

“I’m beginning to feel like I’m being shaken down by a very caffeinated toll booth.”

The truly diabolical part is the timing. You haven’t tasted the coffee. You don’t know whether it’s right.

You don’t know whether they remembered the oat milk. You don’t even know whether your name will be remotely recognizable when they call it out.

Yet there you sit, staring at a digital screen, feeling socially obligated to reward a service that hasn’t happened.

Maybe this is where tipping culture finally jumps the shark.

At this rate, the next Starbucks screen will simply ask:

“Would you like to tip us before you order?”

And somewhere, a barista will quietly nod.

“We appreciate your generosity.”

“For what?”

“For whatever happens next.”